Deaf and the Phone

I find it funny now but when I was growing up deaf in a hearing world, my career goal was to become a telephone operator. Doesn't sound like a very exciting job but to me, I thought it would be cool to talk on the phone all day... mostly because it was impossible and would only happen in a dream.

I do remember talking on the phone rarely. I would call my neighbor Catherine to let her know if I needed a ride to the high school for early morning band practice. These were very brief phone calls where I did the majority of the talking. I could barely make out any response but was so proud of myself to make the call on my own. Otherwise I had to ask my mother to make calls for me.

There was no such thing as "relay" or "tty" when I was growing up. I didn't even know what those two words meant. They did not become relevant to me until about 10 years ago. I am thinking of the phone right now because today I had to make several phone calls for different reasons.

About two weeks ago, I got a sorenson 200 VideoPhone installed. This is something my friends have been urging me to get for years but I kept putting it off. I did have dlink for a few months a few years ago but found I didn't use it much and it conflicted with my computer speed so I disconnected it. I much preferred email or fax communication simply because I felt it was faster and it was more convenient for me as I could do either at any time during the day or night... but times change...

I now have VP again and I'm amazed I am using it almost daily. I am beginning to lose my insecurity of the other person not being able to understand me or asking me to repeat, etc. It hasn't happened! AMAZING!!

This morning I called the high school to report that my son was sick and would not be in school today. That took less than a minute altogether. If I had used 711 relay on my computer as I would have done just a month ago, it probably would have taken up to 10 mins to make that call.

However, I still use 711 relay (or sometimes ip-relay) on my computer if I know its going to be a long call and might go through several departments. That way I can do other things while I'm on the "phone" at the same time.. especially if I'm on "hold". Also, if I want a written record of my conversation, I will make the call from my computer.

When relay calls a hearing person, they explain they are calling for a Deaf person and would relay the conversation back and forth. The majority of the people I call have no problem with this idea but now and then you get someone who simply refuses to deal with this and automatically assumes relay is a telemarketing company trying to sell something. Most of these people simply need to be educated. Maybe that was their first experience with a relay operator and they were not sure how to proceed so its easier to just hang up.

But hanging up is extremely rude to a deaf person. If you hang up on me, I will complain. This happened to me today. This afternoon I called a calendar company. I had placed an order for my church two months ago and I was calling to find out how things were proceeding as I've had no communication from them. The first person I called - it was a male (relay tells me if a male or female voice answers). Relay explained how it worked and that male said he could not take non company related calls. I said "This is a company related call". Male: "I cannot talk to you " and he hung up. I was not even given a chance to explain why I was calling. I was not happy. I now had to waste my time recalling this company. This time I asked for customer service. Sandra answered the phone and she was very helpful. She was completely the opposite of the first person I briefly talked to. After Sandra helped me with my calendar related questions, I thanked her and asked her to transfer me to a supervisor. She did. The supervisor was not in her office so I left a message on her machine explaining that the first person hung up on me. After I hung up on that call and disconnected with relay, I remembered that I wanted to put in a good word for Sandra who was so nice to me. So once again I called this company though 711 relay. Again i got the supervisor's answering machine so just left a brief message about how helpful Sandra was. I hope Sandra got a raise or at least a gold star in her records.

I want to mention here that relay is instructed to tell me (the deaf customer) everything they hear. If they hear background noise, they tell me that. If they hear paper shuffling, they tell me that. They tell me if they hear people talking in the background. I have even been told while I was placed on "hold" that the person I was talking to was telling another person in the background that "a dumb deaf person was on the phone and now what do i do?" Oh... I was not happy and when that person came back on the phone, I told her that I "heard" what she said and that I was not "dumb" and if she took the time, we would help her understand how relay works, etc. I then asked to speak to her supervisor and told him what happened. I have no idea what happened to this lady but I'm sure her supervisor had a talk with her.

For the most part my time on the phone is pleasant. Its just now and then you get a jerk who has no patience with relay and they cause delays and problems. I want to compliment all the wonderful relay operators out there. We couldn't do it without you! You make the life of a deaf person much easier and we appreciate your patience with us!

Every Deaf person prefers their own way of communcation. Some prefer face to face. Some prefer videophone. Some prefer email. Some prefer using the tty (which is quickly becoming a dinosaur). There is no right or wrong way. What is important is getting the message across and communicating clear. While I still prefer email as my #1 way to communicate, I'm finding that videophone can be fast and yes, one of the best ways to make sure communication is clear to both people involved - that goes for both hearing and deaf people!