I'm deaf. Do I lipread? Yes and no. I'm going to quote a good friend here..."depends on the lips"! That's what it really comes down to. It depends on if I can be successful at figuring out what the other person is saying by reading their lips.
I want to point out here that everything I write in my blog is from my own personal perspective or experiences. I am not writing for ALL deaf people and what happens to me does not happen to ALL deaf people. Each of us are different. We grew up in different environments and all have different experiences. That said.. please note that just because I can lipread, it does not mean that ALL deaf people have the ability or need to lip read. If they grew up in a signing environment or Deaf culture, they probably had no need to learn how to lipread as they could communicate via signing.
Some hearing people have the most annoying habit. I know they mean well but really, its the worst thing they should do.. when they talk to a deaf person, the OVER E X A G G E R A T E their mouths and talk really S L O W and increase their volume all at the same time. Now how does that help a deaf person understand what they are saying? All we see is distorted mouth movements and weird looking faces. Not very attractive!
If you are hearing and reading this.. I ask on behalf of ALL deaf people... please do not do that... please talk NORMAL... You might want to slow down a little if you are a fast talker but there is absolutely no need to over exaggerate your mouth movements. That is very distracting and makes it even more difficult for a deaf person to lipread you. There is also no need to raise your voice. We are deaf. We do not hear you if you are talking in a whisper or a scream or anything in between. Just talk as you would normally but... one very important thing to remember... you need to face the deaf person. We must be able to see your face and in good lighting too. We cannot lipread the back of your head or lipread in the dark.
I had been asking my family members about my growing up years. Both my oldest sister who is deaf and my mother commenting that I did not have very good lipreading skills growing up. I had to struggle. I have crease lines between my eyes from trying to concentrate on figuring out what was going on by lipreading the whole time I grew up.
It amazes me now as I look back how I managed to get through public hearing school and also hearing college. I did not know any sign during those years. It was 100% oral. 100% lipreading. I can't begin to imagine how much I missed. This is part of the reason I am naive in a lot of ways now at this older age.
My teachers did not make it easy for me either. Most of the time I was forgotten. I was not very outspoken, confident, bold or demanding in those years. I wanted so much to be "normal and hearing", I just became a part of the group and overlooked my own needs. The teachers would walk around the room while I'm trying to swivel on my chair to keep them in my view... they would talk while writing on the blackboard as if I could lipread the back of their heads...I completely was lost when any classmates made comments. Mostly because by the time I turned around to find out who was talking, they were done and distance also made it harder to lipread. I spent a lot of time thinking whatever was being said mustn't be very important and just brush it off. Many times I would just give up. I would just stare straight ahead and just teach myself.
I was a avid reader. I would read anything I could get my hands on. That is how I got through school and college. I basically taught myself by reading. I would spend a lot of time in the library and all the librarians knew me by name. In this way, I got grades as good as the majority of my classmates. I was always an A to C student. I rarely got anything lower than a C except in Math which was my very worse subject that i just could not understand and it was one of those subjects I could not teach myself
"Depends on the lips". Yep.... ever notice how different people's lips are. So many different sizes and shapes. Some men cover their lips with facial hair. I can pretty much rule them out as impossible to lipread before they say a word. My husband has a mustache and he knows he needs to keep it trimmed for my sake. Some people barely move their mouths when they speak. They are also pretty much ruled out as impossible. Some people are "all teeth". wow... these are toughies.. as all I see is the teeth! Some ladies wear too much lipstick and that is distracting too... especially if they have some on their teeth too! I am finding out that braces make it harder. My middle son just got braces this summer. This is new for both of us. First I have to get used to him having braces in the first place and then I have to work out a new way to lipread him. I have been on his back about signing to me more and making me work at lipreading him less. He is making a little progress but falls back into bad habits easily.
Lipreading really is a skill. Some people have it. Some people do not. Yes it can be learned with years of practice but it is not a perfect way to communicate. As I grew up deaf in a hearing world, I had no choice. It was the only way I could communicate but that does not mean I am an expert. Far from it. My two sisters who are deaf are both more skilled at lipreading than I will ever be. Today I depend on ASL communication as well as lipreading. The two together work perfectly for me. I can now fully communicate with other Deaf. But the hearing I still struggle with. I will TRY to lipread but after a few words, I know if its possible or not. If its impossible, I will have to ask them to repeat. After two repeats and I still do not understand, I will ask them to write it down for me. Most of the time hearing people write it down after the first repeat i don't understand.
One last comment on this subject. Lipreading is not all just "reading lips". It is also body language. When I'm lipreading, I am also body reading. I can tell a lot about what a person is saying by the way they are using their hands... the way their shoulders are moving up and down... the way their eyes and eye brows are moving, etc and just their whole attitude. When you speak - doesn't matter if you are deaf or hearing - your whole body speaks too. Now that is something both deaf and hearing people need to keep in mind!
