Faking Being Hearing in College

I had a few flashback moments this week. I "found" a college friend on Facebook. I immediately recognized her name and her picture so I was 100% sure this was the same person who befriended me during my second year of college. I wrote to her to be my "friend" and she is like.. ummm.. who are you? Help me remember as my 50 year old brain cells are half dead (LOL... I know the feeling!).

I wrote her back and shared a few memories of some things that we did together. We were a part of a group of 5 Christian girlfriends who would meet for Bible Study and go to church on Sundays. BTW... I was elated to also find two other members of that group on Facebook!

Another thing I mention to my new "friend" was that I was the deaf girl (The ONLY deaf girl at that college). She wrote back and said.. I "think" I remember you but I never thought of you as the deaf girl.

That does not surprise me at all. Up until I was in my 30s, I tried very hard to be "normal" and to fake being hearing. I was a hearing person with a hearing problem. I would pretend I knew what was going on. I would laugh along with the others and have no clue what the joke was. I would agree to things and not know what I just agreed to. I tried my hardest to blend in and not stand out. I did not like attention (and I still don't). I did not like being different.

Sometimes I wish I could live those years over again. I would certainly change things! I would not be so embarrassed about my situation but embrace it as that is how God created me and I'm unique. I would not try so hard to be like others and be liked by others. I would have made sure I understand what is going on and would have learned ASL at an earlier age and used an interpreter. As it was, I was completely oral and had to lip read everything. Thus, I missed A LOT.

Well... I can't have regrets as thats the way it was. You learn and move on. I'm looking forward to getting acquainted with my college friends again and this time, I'll be more MYSELF!