Being Deaf within Hearing Groups

It was almost a last minute decision to fly out to Tucson, AZ to spend the holiday weekend with my college roommate Grace. They are constantly telling us to come out to visit them and we try to at least once a year. John was supposed to go with me but that didn't work out so my 13 yr old daughter went with me instead. We are blessed to be able to fly free as John is an employee of Delta airlines.

Grace knows a limited amount of sign language but she is one of those I normally have no problems lipreading so I'm comfortable being around her and we have a good time together. Her husband, Charlie is a little harder to lipread but I can manage. If necessary, Kayla will interpret what they say if I get stuck. It works out.

They have 9 horses on their mini ranch so I got to go horseback riding twice. My horse, "Chief", is so patience and tolerant of my inexperience. Kayla enjoyed riding "Ben" and she does a good job.

While we had a super relaxing weekend with Grace and Charlie, there were a few testing, stressful moments for me - all of which involved groups.

I do not do well in hearing groups. Put me with 3 or more people who do not sign and I'm lost. I am not able to follow conversations that bounce back and forth as the subject matter keeps changing...people don't keep their bodies in my line of sight...people are laughing and its pretty much impossible to lipread talking while they are laughing or smiling big... people are not looking directly at me... the lighting is not good... mustaches and beards (ugh... a deaf person's nightmare)...etc etc.

The first happened Saturday night when we attended an Open House for a friend's son who graduated. That was not too bad as that was also my first evening with Grace so it was our first chance to catch up with each other so we mostly sat at a table and chatted the whole time. I am pretty good with a one to one conversation as long as I know the subject we are discussing.

The next occasion was church on Sunday. They normally have an interpreter. I was there before with an interpreter so we all expected the same... except the interpreter did not show up. ugh... that meant I had to sit there for an hour and attempt to lipread everything. Not good. My lipreading skills are no longer as good as they once were. Since I learned ASL and spend most of my time around Deaf people, I don't depend on lipreading as much as I once did growing up. When I am sitting "deaf" within a hearing group, I tend to have "pity parties" for myself.

I hate that and I struggle with that. I really should have stopped feeling sorry for myself and just had a private worship and ignored what was going on around me but I have a hard time doing that. I tried SO HARD to lipread the pastor and it frustrated me so much that I had no idea what he was saying. I'm curious if any of the readers also feel this way. I spent more time trying to hold back tears than anything else.

The third occasion was Memorial day when Grace had 2 other couples over for a BBQ. I had met these people during previous visits with Grace so I knew who they were but never really related to them. We all sat around the table and the conversation just bounced from one thing to another. Grace would occasionally voice interpret what someone said. As long as she was talking directly to me, I could understand her. It was interesting to note that my daughter who was also there and knows sign very well, did not attempt to interpret except if I couldn't understand Grace. I never asked her to and would never put her into that position. That would have to be her choice. Just because she is a CODA, doesn't mean she is my personal interpreter. Perhaps when she gets older, she will feel more comfortable. That is fine.

I might be seeing these very same people again next month as we were invited to join them when they travel to Mexico and stay at their summer house on the beach. This time John is coming with us. While I won't force him to be my personal interpreter, I know he will be willing and I'm looking forward to the chance to get to know Grace's friends better as they are all very nice people.

Overall it was a very nice weekend and I'm glad I went. It forced me to take a break from work and do different things...even if sometimes they are out of my comfort zone!

God Gave Each of us an Angel

This is dedicated to all the moms out there! Hope you had a happy Mother's day and remember that EVERYDAY is Mother's Day and it is an honor to be a mom! Enjoy! If you doubleclick on the video, it will show up larger.

Vote for DOUA today!

Please Vote for Disabled Online Users Association. http://communicause.com/my-cause/1431/gwscY7DTmzrYLDgs

DOUA stands for Disabled Online Users Association. Its free for anyone who has any type of "disability" to join. No one judges you there. There are classes and forums where you can ask questions to help you get started with having a business on the internet. They have been a big encourager to me when I was struggling a few years ago. They are part of a contest to receive a $25,000 social media makeover. They deserve your support and your vote. GO and vote now! and many thanks!